Undeserving
by River of Oblivion
Summary: Of imperfections, doubts, and the irony of love. Sparky
1. His

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis, nor do I know the people who do, but I'm not making any money off of this. It's for entertainment purposes** **only.**

**A/N: For those of you reading _Ariadne's Tears_ I apologize for the lack of updates. Real life and writer's block are to blame. Not to fear though, I'm still working on it and am planning to update soon.**

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He didn't understand how someone like her could love someone like him. She was graceful, witty, compassionate and brilliant. He was cocky, impulsive, impatient, and a bit of a rebel at times. Everything about her was beautiful, the way she talked, the way she moved. With her smoky brown curls, crystal green eyes and gentle smile she was easily one of the most attractive women he'd ever seen; though she seemed to be blissfully unaware of the fact.

He'd seen the way other men looked at her, but she never acknowledged them, either because she chose to ignore their interest or because she simply didn't notice. For whatever reason, he was the one she focused on, the one she'd chosen to let in, the one she'd given her heart to. Sometimes he had to pinch himself to rule out the possibility it was all a dream. Other times he would watch her, memorizing the curve of her face, her perfect nose, the way her hair fell, just in case she disappeared. Every once in a while she would catch him and her big lovely eyes would meet his, radiating emotion. In their depths he could read that she couldn't live without him and it made him catch his breath.

Once, when they were out on their balcony watching a sunset, he had asked why she loved him. With the sun's dying rays casting a glow over her features, she'd turned to look at him, surprised. "Because it would be impossible not to." He hadn't understood her answer then and he still didn't. He could think of half a dozen reasons off the top of his head for her not to love him. Another half dozen would come if he thought about it, making it seem impossible to even like him, let alone care about him.

He'd known from the beginning that she was out of his league, that he wasn't good enough for her. He had been shocked when she had come to him and told him, voice shaking with anxiety and feeling, that he had become more than just her colleague, more than just her military commander, more than her closest friend even. The fact that SHE was nervous around HIM had thrown him for a loop. He feared for the day when she would realize how unworthy he was, the day when the love he saw in her eyes was directed at someone else; yet at the same time, he knew he wouldn't stand in her way. He would let her go without uttering a single work.

Until that day came however, he was going to spend every moment he had with her as though it were his last, enjoying the feel of her hand in his, the sound of her musical laughter and the sight of that special smile, the one she reserved only for him.


	2. Hers

**A/N: I know these drabbles are really short but it just didn't seem right to extend them any more. Anyway, I'm still progressing with "Ariadne's Tears" and I should have the next update up soon. Reviews make my day!**

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She didn't understand how someone like him could love someone like her. At times the notion felt absolutely preposterous, the idea completely unfathomable.

He was the Master Artist's greatest work, more gorgeous than any man had a right to be. With his mischievous grin, playful jokes and dimples, he was without a doubt the most charming man she'd ever known; but he went so much deeper than that. He was always there for her, a tower of strength when she had misgivings and doubts. He supported her in whatever she did, but never hesitated to point out what he saw as better options, something she was immensely grateful for. He listened and held her close on the rare occasions when she broke down. It was easy to see why she'd fallen for him, but the fact that this funny, handsome, compassionate, courageous man cared for HER of all people was confusing. He could have the pick of any women he wanted, but he had chosen her.

Sometimes when their eyes met she would get a glimpse of just how deep his feelings for her went. She knew he would die for her without a moment's hesitation and she lived in a constant state of awe that someone so special could feel that deeply for her. Once, as they stood together under a sky thick with a blanket of stars he'd told her that she was his rock, his haven. She hadn't known how that could be possible when he was all those things to her and more, but he had been insistent. Unfortunately, a call on her headset had interrupted their conversation before she got a chance to figure out why he felt that way about her, and the time had never seemed right to bring it up again.

When those three beautiful words fell from his lips it felt like fireworks exploding, warblers singing high in the trees, walking barefoot along the ocean shore, like heaven; but there was a part of her that wondered at each utterance whether it would be the last time he directed that phrase at her. She knew it was only a matter of time before he found someone better, someone who was actually worthy of his precious time. He would find someone perfect, someone who complimented him in every way, someone smart, talented, funny and beautiful, someone who wasn't as driven by their emotions, a warrior, just like him. When that time came she knew it would kill her slowly but surely, a cancer eating away at her heart. She also knew that she wasn't going to be the one to hold him back.

The swinging pendulum had become the enemy, and her days with him were numbered. Every moment she spent with him was a precious jewel and she treasured each and every time his hand brushed her cheek, every time she caught him watching her, and every time she heard his voice call her name.


End file.
